Torn by Justin Lee

Statistics:
Title: Torn: Rescuing the Gospel form the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate
Author: Justin Lee
Pages: 272
Genre: Faith, Biblical Living, LGBT issues,
Age Range: Adult
Publication Date: January 1, 2012
Publisher: Jericho Books
Medium: Audiobook

What brought this book to your attention?

I heard about this book from two different fronts: (1) Rachel Held Evans recommended it on her blog, and (2) I stumbled across Justin Lee on the internet. I immediately knew it was a book I wanted to read, since the "Gay vs. Christian" debate is a very real debate in our modern world. I've struggled with wanting to be an "affirming" Christian (i.e. someone who wants to affirm gay relationships) but unsure how I can Biblically take such a position. So I've been trying to seek out books that discuss this issue.

This book is definitely one of those books. In Torn, Justin Lee tells his story as growing up Southern Baptist and discovering he's gay. This book is his testimony, his journey with God and his struggle with his sexuality. This is not a man who lightly made a "choice" to be gay. This is a man who struggled mightily against the sexuality he was born with, who denied it, tried to change it, and struggled with God and His Word before coming to any conclusions. This not a man who takes God's Word lightly, and neither does he ask his reader.

I've never read a book that is so fair to all parties involved. Lee is not condemning the Christians who tried to change or fix him. He understands and loves them, because they are his family, his people, and once upon a time he was them. He just wants to tell his story, so Christians understand his struggle as a gay Christian. He wants to educated and enlighten.

We of the Southern Baptist flavor of Christianity have always put a strong emphasis on personal testimonies, personal stories of how God moved in people's life. This is Justin Lee's testimony. And a very gracious and educational addition to any reading list on the topic. 

Did you learn anything?

Any Biblical arguments Justin Lee made in his book I had already heard; however, for anyone new to the discussion of the Biblical arguments for gay celibacy or gay monogamous relationships in a Christian context this book provides a high level groundwork for that discussion. Justin Lee takes a stance towards the end of where he stands on this discussion, but he is certainly not of the "YOU MUST AGREE WITH ME OR ELSE" variety of person. He's just like "This is what I believe and these are other things other people also believe."

However, I did learn a lot about the ex-gay movement. I didn't know a lot about it, because the ex-gay movement only came on my radar as it was ending. At the time this book was written, the ex-gay movement was still strong and on-going. Now most ex-gay groups have closed doors and admitted that their promise of changing people from gay to straight basically never worked.

It was fascinating and heartbreaking  to hear this personal story of a young man's struggles with trying to change his orientation, his struggles with his faith in the light of the fact he couldn't change it, and trying to figure out what it meant for his life going forward.

Did you disagree with anything?

You can and may disagree with Justin's conclusion that gay married relationships are acceptable in the Christian faith. Personally, I am becoming more convinced every day to the affirming position. However for me, one of the nice things about this book is that he allows for disagreement. He doesn't require you agree with him, because getting you to that solution is not his final point, not the purpose of his book. Justin's main point is to educate the straight Christian community on the struggles of gay Christian, and why some gay Christians get to the solutions they do: whether that's pretending to be straight, celibacy, or a same-sex marriage. Justin is clear in which solution he has chosen, but he's also clear that we should support celibate gay Christians, and that if a gay Christian decides to enter into a straight marriage they are as equally held to those vows as any straight person.

How did you like the book overall?

I loved this book and honestly think every Christian should read this book--whether you're struggling with the debate or not. Even if you think gay people should never be allowed to enter into romantic or sexual relationships and at the end of the book you still think that, the book allows for that and better shows you how to love the gay Christians in your midst. We can not help our brothers and sisters in Christ if we do not understand their struggle. We should not condemn them without listening to them. And that is ultimately Justin's moral. Listen first.

That is advice any Christian can use in any situation, but especially in this one. We jump so quickly to condemnation without even hearing people's stories and trials.

Read this book. Hear the story. You won't regret it.

A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans

Statistics:
Title: A Year of Biblical Womanhood: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on Her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband 'Master'
Author: Rachel Held Evans
Pages: 352
Genre: Faith, Biblical Living, Woman's Issues, Feminism
Age Range: Adult
Publication Date: 10/29/2012
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Medium: Audiobook

What brought this book to your attention?

When I read non-fiction it's usually because either (a) a book has been given to me by someone else, (b) a book has been so highly recommended I can't ignore it, or (c) it covers some issue I'm struggling with. For me, this was definitely an option c.

I got married a little over a year ago, and leading up to my marriage I was concerned by a couple of issues. The theological idea of "complementarianism" was something I had been raised in, the idea that the man is the head of the household and a woman should subjugate herself to him. This wasn't an idea that had ever sat well with me--strong, independent, headstrong me. And if complementarianism was true, where did we draw the line? Was I supposed to cover my hair when I prayed (1 Corinthian 11:5)? And if I was supposed to "pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17), did that mean I was always supposed to keep my hair covered? Suddenly I was wearing hats to church every other Sunday, unsure if I was supposed to be doing this or not, but at least seeing what it felt like.

But wasn't Christianity about freedom? Wasn't always wearing a hat legalism? How's a modern Christian girl to navigate these waters?

Well I found the blog of Rachel Held Evans and discovered I wasn't the only modern woman asking these questions. In this book, Rachel tries to follow the different aspects of being a woman, as expressed across the Bible or encouraged by certain belief systems. A modern twenty-first century woman was asking the same questions as me and trying to follow through--for a whole year--and then seeing if there were any conclusions to be drawn. The book isn't quite the scientific methods by any means, but it had enough of that idea to draw me in. So I got the audiobook to listen to on my drive to and from work.

Did you learn anything?

I was actually surprised how much I learned. I consider myself pretty well learned when it comes to things of the Bible, which is probably a mistake since the Bible is such a diverse and controversial book.  I always thought I knew what Proverbs 31 was about: a description of a woman we should all aspire to be. But I learned in this book, that's not true. Proverbs 31 has been used too often in churches as some sort of measuring tape all women have to stack themselves again, instead of what it truly is: a poem of praise of wise women, women of valor, "eshet chayil" in the Hebrew. The woman in the poem is just an example of a wise woman--but she comes from a very specific economic and social bracket. Should we all be holding ourselves to the standard of a wealthy, ancient Jewish woman? No! We should be seeking to be women of valor in our lives and that looks different ways! MIND BLOWN.

Also I had never before heard of the apostle Junia. Was it because I had Bible translations that misgendered her as Junias? Was it because my Sunday School teachers and complimentarian pastors just never wanted to point out that a woman was given the highest honor the apostle Paul could give her? I have no idea. But I learned she was a woman, "outstanding among the apostles" who Paul considered his equal and friend.

I also learned a lot about the many ways different Christian and Jewish faith traditions have interpreted the role of the woman. Rachel went and met with Amish women. She made friends with an Orthodox Rabbi's wife. She didn't limit herself to just one faith tradition but really tried to dwell in how women across the Christian spectrum have interpreted these different verses. And it was enlightening for me. I learned so much.

Did you disagree with anything?

I honestly don't remember disagreeing with anything in any visceral way, and that's probably because Rachel's end claim really that there is no one single prescriptive way to be a Christian woman. I maybe disagree with some of the woman she spoke with on their particular beliefs, but these beliefs aren't put forth by the book as things we should all believe, but rather different interpretations of the same faith. I think the only people who will disagree with this book are people who do believe there is only one distinct way to be a Christian woman and all other women are wrong. Which is an opinion people can have, but not one I maintain. So no, I didn't disagree with anything the author said really.

How did you like the book overall?

I loved this book. I learned a lot, and the audiobook narrator was very good. It was a perfect book to listen to on my commute to work. And I highly recommend this book to any woman who is struggling with what it means to be a "Biblical woman."